Healing Through Sound and Ayahuasca

The Psychedelic Salon Podcast Episode #350
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Guest speaker: Hamilton Souther
From: 2012 Palenque Norte Lecture

PROGRAM NOTES:

[NOTE: All quotations are by Hamilton Souther.]

“Even they [the shaman] do not know what ayahuasca is, because you’re never experiencing ayahuasca. You are always experiencing ayahuasca plus you, and that combination is not ayahuasca. That combination is you and ayahuasca. And that means ayahuasca then is undefinable, we don’t know what it is, which then always allows us to continue to explore the unknown. And it becomes an unlimited journey for us to be able to continue to go further and further and further in our understanding.”

“The shamanism becomes a guide, and the ayahuasca becomes a guide for an exploration of the purity of consciousness.”

“[When interviewing a shaman] especially look at everybody in the eyes. The eyes in ayahuasca tell you everything. If you see people with eyes that get really glossed over and become really shifty, it’s letting you know something there is going on that maybe you don’t want to become like that. Maybe that’s not why you’re there.”

LINKS:

Hamilton Souther, Medicine Hunter

Blue Morpho Ayahuasca Center

2012 Message of Hope: Global Meditation

We are arranging a monthly world meditation, visualization and prayer across the whole wide world to heal ourselves and the planet and lift the consciousness of every being. Join us in global meditation! You can meditate on the first Sunday or at the New Moon in every month, or both. We do this because the NEW MOON is an unbiased celestial event strongly linked to our psyche happening at the same global time all over the planet, unlike the calendar event that is bound to the western calendar. But now you can choose.

There is no time left to be complacent. The world is changing now. Not tomorrow. Be part of the change for good. The love. Not the fear. Let go your attachment to the old world and embrace the new.

Learn to meditate for free! Ten day course: www.dhamma.org/

The most important thing is that everyone is aware of the day being a World Meditation Day with people meditating all around the world at this day. Be it at the same global time, or different times during the 24 hour period. If you don’t sit in meditation you can spend the time sending love and positive feelings to your surroundings.

DATE 1: First Sunday of every month.

Anytime during the Sunday will be fine, but the core time is 7 – 8 in the evening, local time.

DATE 2: New Moon of every month.

Anytime during the New Moon day will be fine, but the core hour STARTS at the New Moon global time.

Use the New Moon calendar to find the next new moon or look at the list to the right.

Use the timezone converter to find your local time.

PLACE: Your home, a church, a mosque, a classroom, outside, wherever you are.

WITH: Your group, your self, friends, family, collegues, anyone.

HOW: Anyway you want. Check out our meditation page for a guided audio meditation, and links for how to meditate and different approaches to this.

Join the Choice Point Facebook community

Personal Update

Hello friends,

First I want to thank all of you for your friendship and support during the most challenging time of my life. It means a great deal to me and all the love really helped me immensely. Its been awhile since I have last written, this is due to my being hit by a tsunami of trouble & disaster. While this analogy may not be appropriate, its the best metaphor I could come up with. For those not familiar with my recent medical crisis, you can read about it in two blog entries: EROCx1 is very ill and My Road to Recovery. Since this has effected many of my readers (mostly friends. acquaintances and people I do business with) I wanted to bring that story to a close and update everyone here on where I stand today.

The definitive cause of my mental & medical break down was due to a bad doctor and horrific pharmaceutical interactions from medication prescribed to me together that should not be even be used with in 30 days of each other.  I had to get a new doctor due to my company changing insurance providers with out notice. My prior doctor successfully treated my back injury and managed my pain with 2 prescriptions. The new doctor wrote me 12 prescriptions in less then 2 months. On top of this he gave me a large quantity of samples which propitiated when my insurance originally denied one of them. These samples were not entered in to my medical records and when things got really bad he didn’t speak up on the true cause to protect himself from a Malpractice case. This resulted in many horrible side effects including making me delusional or more accurately described as temporarily insane. I was eventually hospitalized and it took 5 doctors, intensive testing and therapy to get almost back to normal. My new insurance did not cover ambulances, psychiatric medicine or therapy. Since my hospital stay was deemed to be the result of a “psychiatric” problem they are attempting to deny coverage for the ambulance, hospital, some doctors, psychiatrist, therapist + had high co-pays and uncovered medicines, the list goes on. I have an attorney, but due to the lack of accurate medical records it will probably come down to my word against the doctor and he did a good job of covering his ass so who knows how it will go. Once my attorney either gives up on or wins my case. I will be releasing individual & company names and do my best to warm the public of their unethical if not criminal behavior.

Given the severity of my condition and unknown diagnosis our former residence were renting out remained vacant because we could not rent or sell it. We also feared the chance that I would not recover enough to afford our current home and may need to move back, this left us paying mortgages and utilities on two properties. Not only was my health & wellbeing destroyed and my families financial stability was as well. I was unable to work my day job loosing 4 months pay and my store a neglected with orders backing up and inventory running out. Delays and bad feedback ruined my flawless reputation and I lost a large % of my customer base. Good friends [Especially James & Joe] came to the rescue and we were able to help ship everything out, handle correspondence and prevent a total collapse. Reflecting on friendship, during all the madness and chaos I also lost some close friends, Its my sincere hope that one day they will understand the nature of my illness, will accept my apologies and that we can one day be friends again.

I suffer from 3 month solid gap in my memory and was surprised to receive $1000’s of dollars in charge backs and nearly $4000 in combined over due invoices from my suppliers for material I have no evidence or recollection ordering or receiving. Even after a thorough accounting of inventory, emails, purchase orders & sales receipts. The only thing I can think of is some took advantage of my situation and its plausible that my packages arrived while I was hospitalized, in therapy or at a doctors visit which was typically 3-4 days per week and someone must have stolen the boxes which are often left on my doorstep when no one is home. Speaking of all the Dr’s visits and chaos I also rear ended another car while attempting to drive to a doctors appointment before I fully realized the severity of my condition.

Lets see, oh yes. During this period my domains expired causing me to loose all my correspondence, contacts, email and data + I had to buy one domain back for an excessive premium. Then my shopping cart facilitator "ecrater” banned and removed Salvia from my catalog with out notice. This led to one positive outcome, it forced me to complete a total revamp of Gaian Botanicals that was in the works for over a year, it is now on my own server which I thought made us independent from the prejudices demonstrated by ecrater. The new site is outstanding, an enormous improvement over the original version. Again, I couldn't have done with out help from my friends, especially Scott and feedback from customers willing to beta test the new site and point out errors and offered helpful suggestions.

Unfortunately the new site some how prompted an investigation by PayPal, the payment processor we used as a merchant account with out incident for several years. Who incorrectly claims Salvia divinorum is “illegal” (even though we always abide by the law and honor individual state regulations both publically and privately to be incompliance with all laws even if we don't agree with them) and/or is falsely considered “dangerous” and a violation of their acceptable use policy even if it is not specifically prohibited and the policy is incredibly vague, nor is their any evidence that Salvia is “dangerous". They “limited” my account which means I could NOT access my funds although they had no problem continuing to accept money for items they insist “pose a danger to the public”. Funny how that works. They gave me 5 days to remove all Salvia divinorum products (our best seller) from the new site we worked so hard on and forced me fill out an affidavit confessing that I am a naughty boy and will not break their unwritten rules again or else they will steal my money, close my account and report me to law enforcement agencies. Thus leaving no choice but to submit to their unjust demands or be completely shut down from accepting electronic payment. I am actively seeking a new merchant account / payment processor hoping to find one that is NOT prejudice against ALL of us. Sadly I am surprised to learn that many corporations have similar discriminatory policies.

The Inquisition is alive today and is far more powerful then ever before. Its only evolved from straight out strong armed thievery & looting of immeasurable amounts of wealth and relics. Occupation of foreign nations, enslavement or genocide of entire populations, Holy wars, the practice of physically torturing people for confessions, burning at the stake and other methods of murder to “save souls”. It has secretly hidden behind public awareness controlling governments, corporations, banks, economies and of course still propagating propaganda, religious and racial wars among other crimes against humanity. The United States aka “Land of the Free”  holds the world record for incarcerating more of its own citizens per capita then any other nation on earth. This includes governments who take political & religious prisoners and maintains debtors prisons. They regularly confiscate (steal) good peoples hard earned money, property, children, marking them as un-employable, destroying lives and families all for the heresy of using your own mind & body as they wish and for exercising free will which can deem one guilty of committing a victimless “crime” which total insanity in the first place. Especially for those poor victims prosecuted for man made laws declaring pats of nature (or creation) illegal. At at rate I better stay on topic.

This pretty much concludes what I wanted to summarize and hopefully explains delays in the recent past, the temporary changes to my catalog and my lack of attention to EROCx1 BLOG, forums, correspondence and general involvement with the community I love. Rest assured any and all paid order will ship immediately and I will not rest until I correct this injustice. I will not let all these negative experiences get me down. Timothy Leary changed my life when I was younger telling me, “You determine the reality in which you inhabit. Do not be a victim of culture.” Thus I am viewing my recent struggles as a learning experience, as inspiration to grow, to force evolution to its fullest potential, a reminder of impermanence, to NOT take this wondrous life for granted and to cherish and love what is truly most important in life.

Again, I would like to thank those who stuck with me, helped me, saved me. Those who sent love, inspiration and even financial donations to get me to the here and now. I appreciate you and hope to have your continued friendship and support of Gaian Botanicals.

Namaste to you all!
EROCx1 

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While I have your attention. I am very excited to announce our new High Potency / Full Spectrum 50x Kratom Extract! This is the latest and most advanced high potency, full spectrum Kratom extract available anywhere. Its a great value given its effectiveness and the great expense to R&D and manufacturer it. I firmly believe it to be vastly superior to all other extracts in this price range. I couldn't be happier with it and this is just the first of many new products soon to be added to the Gaian Botanicals Catalog.

www.GaianBotanicals.com

The Road to Recovery

Hello all my friends,

I am happy to announce my condition is improving. Special thanks to my wife, family, friends and customers for all your support, well wishes and understanding during this past few difficult months. The worst time of my life and I am genuinely sorry for my lack of service, correspondence, et cetera. My illness was due to the actions of my Dr, Health Insurance and Pharmacy. This is the truth, please ignore and shut down any rumors that contradict this. I am sharing most of my story with everyone here not only because I feel I owe it to my customers, readers and friends, but to serve as a warning in hopes that others can avoid a tragedy like mine. For the record I was not using any illegal drugs / recreational substances when this occurred. I wasn't even drinking beer at the time.

For those of you who do not know. I have suffered from a herniated disc in my upper back and severe nerve pain since I was 19. I had a good doctor managing my pain successfully from 2000 to 2010 with Tylenol 3 and Cyclobenzaprine, some Chiropractic & Physical Therapy much of which were exercises and stretches I was taught to perform myself. Most days my pain was tolerable [a 2-3 on the scale of 1 to 10] with the exception of occasional flare ups here and there. I was responsible and successful businessman working 2 jobs. My 8-5 career + being the sole proprietor of Gaian Botanicals. Gaian was my dream job, I was retaining the day job in an attempt to ride out this economic disaster then planned on running Gaian as my only full time job so I could spend more time with my family and wrap up my book and do other things I enjoy much more. However that day has yet to arrive..

On January 2010 my employer switched medical insurance providers and I was forced to select a new primary care physician. I took this very seriously considering my pre-existing condition and because this change also effected my wife and 3 children. On this plan very few doctors were accepting new patients and my limited options were mostly interns and 1st to 2nd year practitioners. So I was very relieved to finally be referred by a friend to a Doctor with many good reviews online, an impressive curriculum vitae, board certifications and has been practicing for over 37 years.

On my initial visit he spent a lot of time with me, performing an extensive and thorough examination including X-rays and blood work. He updated my condition to include Degenerative Thoracic Spinal Stenosis, nerve damage, Carpal tunnel syndrome and high cholesterol. He referred me to 3 specialists + MRI and gave me spinal injections along with a new prescription for Tylenol 3 and Cyclobenzaprine and a generous sample of 40 doses of Cymbalta + a prescription for it instructing me to try it and if the Cymbalta helped with my pain with no side effects to fill the script and make an appointment to see him in a month.

The Cymbalta and / or spinal injection had me feeling better then ever. So when I had about 5 pills left I submitted my prescription to Walgreens. Four days later I received a letter that Aetna denied  covering the medication. I gave the appeal documents to my Dr to try again. Late a couple nights later I received an automated message from Walgreens that my medication was ready for pick up.

Since I was out of the sample and was feeling the withdrawal setting and I was becoming extremely lethargic so I raced straight over there. Before handing me the package the Pharmacists asked if I “was familiar with this medication”. I replied “yes, been on it for over over a month”. He said ok and handed it to me. Written on the package was “Dr says OK to sub” I immediately opened the bottle and noticed the pills were different however just assumed it was the generic version or equivalent to Cymbalta. About 4 days later I was feeling horrible and realized I was given Venlafaxine aka Effexor which was not on the bottle, and was not compatible with Cymbalta. I called my MD and they said the insurance company makes patients try this first, then if it doesn't work, given my condition they will typically will cover the Cymbalta. He said Effexor takes a while to begin working to give it a try. So I took the remaining pills as instructed. Doing so unleashed serious side effects.

Finally my insurance agreed to cover the Cymbalta so my Doctor prescribed double my previous dose to counter the Effexor along with Simvastatin for my cholesterol which I held off on taking as I had serious trepidation about new prescriptions given my current condition. My pain was slightly diminishing however the mental side effects began increasing including horrible insomnia, lethargy, confusion, anxiety, paranoia + others I rather not mention. I was sleeping only a couple hours every 2-3 days. My Dr. said the side effects were most likely  due to my lack of sleep so he prescribed Ambien and Valium. All in all I was written over 10 prescriptions in less then 2 months.

When I got my sleep pattern somewhat normalized the side effects seemed to be easing away so I took the Simvastatin as blood work results came in with my Cholesterol near 400. Approximately 30 minutes later it was like a lightening bolt of insanity struck me. I was completely delusional, suicidal, paranoid, struck with anxiety and The Fear. My friends and family tried to intervene and persuade me into checking into a hospital but I was too confused and paranoid to trust all the conflicting heated advice and was too overwhelmed to make a decision.

I wanted to admit myself to a specific clinic that specialized in treating people in my condition but they wouldn't have a bed for me until the following day. So I packed my bag making arrangements to check myself in the next morning but things rapidly spiraled out of control as my rational mind was crushed and insanity set in to what now is referred to “The collapse, E’s-Meltdown or my Train Wreck. No words can describe this, at least not in my vocabulary. Totally Ineffable. I am ashamed and embarrassed. I' always believed I had superior control over my own mind and now had lost all control, I was ruining many good friendships and even bonds between family members, most of all, I publically apologize to my wife for all the heartache she endured. I will end this paragraph by saying the incident concluded with an intense Swat Team stand off with assault weapons pointing both ways and my eventually being placed in Involuntary psychiatric hold where they send our County’s mentally ill for what seemed an eternity.

There they drugged me up which eased the anger and paranoia but inhibited clarity even further. When I was released, it came as a surprise. I was heavily sedated, dizzy, confused, paranoid, stumbling, mumbling, suffering from both Retrograde amnesia and Anterograde amnesia an with only small fragments of what had transpired flashing into my consciousness along with other true and false memories. Once again I could not isolate reality and was afflicted by chaos and confusion. Especially since I hadn't seen the friend who picked me up for over a decade who flew out to help me. This gave me a flashback feeling like I was 20 again, only in some strange way and that I lost the last 14 years of my life or was it all a dream, alternate reality?

This all happened in about a month. I went from an intellectual, fully functional and successful business man, husband and father. Reduced to barely being capable of writing this blog entry. [took about 8 hours, previously a post this length would take 20-30 minutes] I am still on NO medication until I see my neurologist tomorrow as they want me to be in my natural state of mind for my appointment (wish me luck) and I have been enduring unbelievable pain for all this time. My insomnia is some what under control and my condition is improving. My attention span and short term memory are almost non existent. My Psychologist diagnosed me NOS which he described as an un-specified disorder. When I asked what this meant, he said I'm just mildly crazy, but not in too bad of shape. We could work on getting back to my old self.

My Dr. blamed all this on my taking Benadryl for a cold as the sole cause of this reaction. Of course the one thing he didn't prescribe me. So I have a bunk diagnosis on record and am hoping the Neurologist will accurately diagnose me. My guess was Serotonin syndrome or some other adverse drug reaction from his starting me on too many pharmaceuticals in such a short period, but primarily throwing Effexor in the mix and sudden discontinuation of all prescribed medication. I the pleasure of withdrawing from Effexor and Cymbalta + Cyclobenzaprine, Ambien, Valium, 10 years prescribed Codeine all at once. Enough to kill a man.

Its not my intention to brag, but my IQ prior to this incident ranged from 112-124 from a teenager all threw all my adult life. I was recently tested after my crash and scored a 62 Its been a long road to here and my goal is full recovery if possible, but it will take a lot of work and time.

This was extremely traumatic for my family causing many serious issues at home. Especially with my wife who suffered greatly from my actions and I am so thankful she still loves me and is understanding and compassionate enough to be willing to work things out to keep our family together. I seriously damaged our relationship, however it is my greatest hope that we are now on the path to improving our relationship hopefully better then ever. I cant thank her enough for her strength, compassion and understanding and I am so happy we were able to spend Fathers Day by having a picnic at Lake Mead. (Photo Above). I am now spending more time with my family then I ever could before. the only benefit to this ordeal.

Also during this period my domain expired and was sold with out my knowledge from Microsoft to Melbourne IT in Australia who charged  me an outrageous fee to get my email & homepage back online, I lost many orders, emails and correspondence and am still not set up how I am accustomed to working. Top that off with my breaking my cell phone with all my contact info & calendar. I have not been capable of performing the duties of my main career requires. I was an executive from the time this company opened over 9 years ago and it was our family's main source of income. I am currently NOT being paid or receiving any disability + have to pay for Cobra insurance coverage, a mess of bills and other expenses. I supposedly have long term disability insurance but I cant get a straight answer when that kicks in.

Fortunately many of my friends and family came together to help me. I crashed my car twice trying to get to my medical appointments so I must be driven everywhere. They also helped me get all my Gaian Botanicals orders processed and deal with lots of correspondence. However now that we are caught up no new orders are being received. We shipped all orders, even the ones people filed chargeback's on and many are keeping their orders and not re-paying me for them. Also the shopping cart host I use removed my #1 seller (Salvia) about a month ago and will no longer allow me to offer it on their server. So I must build a new website which is nearly done. But a few challenges remain due to my medical condition and lack of time and skill. I see a specialists, Dr, Psychologist or therapist 3-4 times per week. Thanks mom, for your help with appointment making and getting me there. I really appreciate your help!

I would like to thank my wife and mother and also my friends James, Joe, Nate and Scott for helping me helping with my store. We are ready to ship new orders. So If you are able to do so, I would really appreciate your support. Please place an order with www.GaianBotanicals.com or order some Salvia extracts by email erocx1@gaianbotanicals.com or if possible, small PayPal donations are appreciated. This incident financially destroyed us and I am trying my  best to keep my family together with some level of normality.

I am counting on my beloved community to help however they can. Referrals or simply recommending Gaian to friends, on blogs, forums, podcasts, et cetera should bring us back in to the green. I will even bulk sale some items from our catalog if any one is interested. We are working on a long term strategy to earn a living, including filing BK, short sale or loan modification. I would be most thankful for any wisdom, assistance or help you may be able to share.

Namaste,
Eric / EROCx1
www.GaianBotanicals.com
http://www.facebook.com/GaianBotanicals

EROCx1 is very ill

Namaste, greetings and love to all our Family, friends, collogues, vendors, [both retail & wholesale] customers, members and Elders of the Tribe and to everyone else who has graciously entrusted us as their sacred source for high quality entheogens, botanicals, plant specimens, seeds, elixirs, extracts and other rarities over the years. I can’t offer enough thanks to adequately express how much all your support means to us over all these years. While I wish I were drafting this letter for purely to share this message of thanks alone, Unfortunately I must share one additional piece of important personal information’s that I am saddened, yet obliged to tell you.

A couple months ago a serious medical condition began rapidly and significantly impacting my life, besides the burden and stresses on my family. I suffer from Immense pain most of each day which I must endure each day for what seems to be months, have 6-8 day organic insomnia binges, intense treatments with my mind so scattered in a state of hypnogogia it literary takes hours to kick out just one email or order at the moment. I was able to keep up working everything mostly by myself 16+ hours hour days over the past few years however now I fear I am paying the price and am too far in over my head, I finally did what I should have done long ago. Added some professional help to the Gaian Staff (formerly me alone) stepped away from my day job for a few months [HUGE RISK] in a sincere effort to remedy this situation ASAP and set us up with only for room for improvement. We are still behind on some fulfillment and bills and super far behind on email not to mention the great distance I must travel on my long path to a complete recovery should I be blesses with one. I hope so, this whole experiences has re-clarified what’s most important along with plenty of stellar ideas. So only about 2000 emails to sort threw. About 25 (trouble) orders meaning things don’t add up or payment processors / customs are involved. Many expensive DR & Specialist visits / appointments, tests, lmaging, bloodletting, spinal and other injections, Et cetara Please keep the faith that I will be back healthier and better then ever and that no one will be let down by me. I have even added pending orders and debt to my last living will and testament to be handled privately by a trusted friend should the worst come.

New orders have been both a blessing & curse. I pray for new orders, then they come and I pray to get them out asap. Or at least the buyer is not in a super hurry to received them  Our young family of 5 desperately needs the money to stay in our home so please keep sending orders. A few have asked to send gifts, You can use the return address for Gaian or paypal me at EROCx1@EROCx1.com or contact me threw the site. I requests for your loving energy that we all pull though ASAP. This illness has been testing to stay the least.

Last but not least I kindly request that everyone who has indicated charge backs, Paypal disputes, rumors, forum and blog drama to cut me a little slack. I promise to deliver. I have NEVER stolen from anyone and don’t plant to start now.

At any rate, Many kind thanks for your patience and understanding.

Peace, Love and Thanks!

www.EROCx1.com
GaianBotanicals.com
Psycasts.com
www.facebook.com/GaianBotanicals